Hello everyone. Okay, so let’s try and wrap up my discussion on the answer to The Number One Divorce Stopper. In case you missed my previous posts on this topic, please take a look at: The Number One Divorce Stopper (Part 1) and The Number One Divorce Stopper (Part 2).
Let’s jump right into it, shall we? I’ll get right to the point because you should know by now that I have a lot to say! Ladies, there are some men out there who enjoy expressing themselves, lol. There are some guys who do not mind opening up about their feelings and I’m one of them! Anyway, this isn’t about me, it’s about you and your present and/or future relationship with that (hopefully) special someone.
So as you know by now, the answer is simple: prayer is the key to having a successful relationship. I’m obviously talking to people who have some sort of spiritual relationship with God.
First of all, whether you’re a man or a woman, know that it’s imperative for you to have some standards of your own BEFORE you jump into a relationship. Don’t settle for just anybody! This is the reason why many divorce in the first place; it’s because they’ve settled for less. After they get married, they’re like, “I don’t like this person anymore, I didn’t know they were like this!”
Well, for one, if you didn’t know the person’s ways (at least a majority of’em), why did you get married in the first place? Don’t you know that marriage is a sacred vow unto God? Not only that, but when you get married, you bring in all the good things and not-so-good things about that person into your life.
The key to your successful relationship will be to understand that there will never be a perfect bride or groom while at the same time have some standards of your own. However, if you make your standards too high, you’ll be in your rocking chair still waiting on Mr. or Mrs. Right, lol, so there has to be a balance.
So now, prayer aside for a moment, let’s talk in terms of being practical. Are you scared to ask that person who you believe you’re in love with things like..some basic, common sense questions? Don’t be scared. If you don’t ask questions BEFORE you jump into a marriage, you will be disappointed when you find out he wants to have 6 kids and you only want 2.
You need to get everything out in the open BEFORE you get married. There’s nothing wrong with getting “pre-marital” counseling. If that “special someone” doesn’t want to OPENLY discuss things like whether or not you’ll be having shared or separate bank accounts in the marriage, etc., that’s a red flag right there. Or maybe he or she wants to continue to hold onto their same-sex “friends” after you get married? It may or may not bother you but it needs to be discussed.
Let me tell you something funny. People want to get a divorce for all kinds of petty things. When I first got married at 21 I was ready to get a divorce because I didn’t like the way my wife cooked! LOL! True story–first month into my marriage I was in my pastor’s office telling him how I didn’t like her beef stew! Show you how ignant I was–I was like (to my pastor), “I ain’t from Oklahoma, I don’t like all them beef stews and soups she be cookin’…can I get a divorce?” HOW IGNORANT OF ME! Since when does beef stew come from Oklahoma?? SMH.
Well, eventually I learned to enjoy my wife’s stews and soups and stuff and eventually she learned to cook some things I liked…like hog maws and…lol I’m just kiddin’!
But anyway, so what’s my point? SELFISHNESS. We want out of a marriage or relationship because we are just that…SELFISH. Did you give up on your relationship too soon? Are you giving up on that person? Did you communicate and let him or her know how you feel? Don’t run away from that marriage just yet!
Okay…stay tuned for Part 4.
Well, I tried to finish up, but as you can see I still have a lot more to say about this! I hope it is helping you. Be encouraged…it ain’t over!